International Woman's Day: March 8, 2021

Last week my daughter, Ally White, a second year CEGEP student, showed me an short essay she recently submitted for her English class on defining females. It was entitled Who are Women? 

I thought it was very well-done and appropriate today. With her permission, I am publishing it here on my blog page, in honour of International Women's Day today.

WHO ARE WOMEN?
by Ally White

The following paragraphs are going to define females, not girls, not boys, not men, but women in particular. I am going to do my best to explain a woman’s complicated brain in a clear and concise way. Women are people, but they are more than that. It is not that women are fragile, emotional and the common generalizations. That is a human occurrence that applies to everyone at times because it is healthy and natural. In fact, women are supernatural beings.

First off, women have incredibly large brains, especially larger than men. I’m not necessarily saying that women are smarter than men, but women seem to have unlimited shelf space because they store absolutely everything in their heads. Women have superpowers that nobody else can possess. Their memory is unmatchable, from important dates and a whole grocery list all the way to a specific moment a decade ago.

 

With all this stored information in their heads, women seem to always find a way to keep it all organized. This naturally leads to list-making. Women love their lists. Whether it is on the multi coloured post-it notes, the lined paper stuck on the fridge with magnets  or on notes in their phones. This is a common organization strategy and a helpful tool to remain productive.

Sometimes it can be hard when their family is dependent on them for income, a clean house and daily homecooked meals. These moms even do these chores without a single complaint. Therefore, women are the ultimate multitaskers.

 

Another common hobby that is constant throughout womanhood is, you guessed it, shopping. Some have addictive tendencies whereas others may only online shop as a time filler, place eighteen items in their cart and never proceed to checkout. Men say all the time that they don’t understand women because they are so complex. Now, here is where I can empathize with them. A woman will see a $200 dress and say it is too expensive to purchase. But, the next day, see a pair of $400 shoes that are 50% off and buy them without hesitation because it is “an amazing steal.” So, both items are the same price, but one is too expensive and one is a great deal. However, in the end, she’ll probably end up buying both, feeding her own shopping problem.

 

A woman’s style is a form of self-expression. Their creativity, ideas and hardworking mindset make them an asset to any type of company. A lot of women today start or desire to run their own businesses. These accomplishments always prove to be a good thing because it stands out in a saturated market, creates opportunities for other ambitious women and generates and normalizes female leaders. A woman’s intuition and hard work are incomparable.

 

Therefore, women are the masterminds of the human race.

WFH (Working-From-Home)

Feb. 11, 2021.

It has been exactly eight weeks. 

On December 17th, 2020, I started working from home due to the lockdown, as my office was a non-essential workplace.

It has its pros. It has its cons. Since so many of us have been working from home, I am sure many people can relate. Imagine that my commute is my hallway, and my snack drawer is my pantry. Do you think it sounds dreamy? Not so much when we are learning to live with this new reality.

For me, I can actually get out of bed about 20-30 minutes later than usual since I am not rushing out the door, and I get a chance to catch Dr. Mitch on CJAD radio! One major pro is not packing my lunch, which is one of my biggest pet peeves. These days I just open my fridge and prepare whatever I decide on at that moment, based on what is in stock.

I also don't give a thought as to what I wear, including shoes. However, I get dressed every day, albeit in leggings or yoga pants, with my fluffy animal-print slippers.

One bonus is throwing in a load of wash, and I usually take a few minutes during lunchtime to throw it in the dryer. Plus, I can even unload the dishwasher while I make my mid-morning coffee.

However, I am more often than not sharing my workspace. I do not have a closed office area in my house. My kids are Cegep students in Zoom classes, so they have erratic schedules, sleeping in some days, and napping or studying on breaks.

We are also sharing the wifi! That's another issue altogether…I just recently had to upgrade our internet plan, our modem, and router, plus install a wifi extender.

I am set up at my desk, which is in my living room, all open to my dining room and kitchen. While someone in my household has breakfast, lunch, or snack, he or she is literally in my workspace. But I have adjusted- well, somewhat. When I have my weekly Zoom staff meetings, I just go into my bedroom with a mobile device because it is too disruptive to the kids.

As the weeks have passed and my kids have thankfully begun their winter term classes, we have become accustomed to the existing circumstances. Still, I seem to be in their way. They would much prefer if I left the house to go to the office. Truthfully, I would much rather be at the office. Since it is winter, it is not easy being home all day and night during the lockdown and curfew. When the sun is shining, I force myself outdoors, even for a 20-minute walk, or to do an errand.

I also miss the interactions and exchanges with a few others in my office, even from a six-foot distance and wearing masks. Also, being together physically makes the work process flow more smoothly-merely talking in-person quickens responses and reactions. Nowadays, this process transpires via email and instant messaging, zoom meetings, and phone calls. Thankfully, we have the technology available to us today. We are definitely doing the best we can.

Surprisingly after eight weeks, I have found myself in a good rhythm. I feel quite productive on most days, despite some of the distractions at home. I must admit that I am euphoric to not face poor driving conditions or having to clear the snow and ice off my car on those freezing cold and snowy days.

But the good news is that spring is just around the corner. The snow will soon melt, the sunshine will become warm, and we will all be outdoors breathing the smells of spring time.

On that note, I am looking forward to going back to the office one day, hopefully soon. 

What are you most hopeful for?

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My Pathway to Parenting

This coronavirus pandemic has not been inspirational for me which is why I have not written a blog in awhile. Recently, something inspired me to write a piece that women and couples may find a worthwhile read. This is a personal story, a first for my blog, so here it goes.

It’s been over 20 years since I began the journey to become a mother.  I got married at 32 and wanted to start a family sooner than later. Never did I think that conceiving would become such a difficult, challenging and nerve-wracking endeavour.

It is almost 19 years since I have thought about my trials and tribulations of my fertility journey, but a couple of things led me to write about this.

Firstly, last month I was searching for a file on my computer and came across a Word Doc named “Fertility Journal”. Despite knowing it was saved, I never opened it or read it over the years…I decided to open it and got lost in reading all 22 pages of my detailed notes.

When I began fertility treatments, the nurse recommended I keep a journal with dates, the tests and results, what each doctor I’d meet would tell me, medications, treatments, etc. The nurse said it’s also helpful to include feelings and thoughts about the process as well as how things evolve. Despite my good memory, some of the details I just did not recall, or maybe I just put them out of my mind.

The second thing that led me to recently think about my fertility journey was that last month the Quebec provincial government announced a bill that would include invitro fertilization (IVF) in provincial healthcare. For many, this will be a lifeline. Although it is only one round of IVF that will be covered, it will bring women and couples some hope they may not have now, given the huge cost of IVF.

In September 2000, we started down the path of investigating our fertility as a couple, following countless attempts trying to conceive naturally. At the McGill Reproductive Centre, housed at the Royal Victoria Hospital, we met with the chief fertility doctor, Dr. T for a consultation and then several tests that followed. I kept these appointments extremely private for a long time until I knew what we were dealing with.

At the start of this process I did not know how many extreme highs and awful lows would be involved…and also how announcements by close friends and family of their happy pregnancy news would affect me and depress me, even though I was truly overjoyed by their news.

My appointments were with different doctors who followed my case. Some were very kind and some unfriendly, and cold. It made me second guess using the public system vs. a private fertility clinic. In 2000, the cost of private fertility treatment was exorbitant for us. So I stuck it out at the McGill Reproductive Centre, which was mostly covered by medicare.

Following my test results, Dr. S diagnosed me with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and as a starting point prescribed medication to stimulate my ovaries. PCOS is not a serious condition, but it does result in irregular cycles which I’d experienced for many years. PCOS is terrible for predicting the ovulation days, during which it is the ideal time to get pregnant. I rushed home to look up PCOS on the internet, because although it was explained to me, I needed to know everything possible.

Things were very tense. I was working full time at the YM-YWHA and missing work for many doctor appointments, so I had no choice but to tell my supervisor what was going on, and it was odd confiding this very personal matter to a manager, that not even my close friends were in the know about. I was a bundle of nerves, but going to work every day was a good distraction.  

I started an oral drug treatment in January 2001. The meds gave me side effects like terrible nausea and hot flashes for days on end. The side effects affected me and stressed me and I just could not function.

Next was the big step of insemination.  And, then a very long two week wait…the longest two weeks ever.

In my journal I wrote,

“Each day is an eternity. I experienced spotting and called the clinic, the Dr B. said it could be implantation bleeding, and that I may be pregnant- which got my hopes so high. This doctor was impersonal, and so unfriendly and unsupportive!”

A couple of days later I got my period and I was not pregnant. So disappointing.

Two more unsuccessful cycles followed.

To some of the appointments I went alone, when my husband was unable to accompany me. Sometimes I needed to find a friend to come along, as I couldn’t drive after some tests, causing more stress, since only a couple of friends were in the know.

After the third and last cycle I saw Dr. T who said that I have to take one month off to rid my body of all the meds before we start another treatment path.

Dr. T wanted to schedule a laparoscopy before going the IVF route, to determine if there wasn’t something else going on.

This is an excerpt from my journal on April 24, 2001:

“Dr. T said if it were his spouse, he’d go for one round of injectables first. But I would need a laparoscopy.  He said we must weigh the cost and benefits. Costs with ivm/ivf are $4000/cycle. Injectables are $1000/cycle.  So we decided on ivm (invitro maturation). On the way home we talked about the financial commitment. I felt “let’s go for the method that will yield us the best chances”, he (my husband) feels we should try at least one round of injectables, but I would have to have the laparoscopy first. And, there will be maybe 6-7 months for a lap! I asked Dr. S about doing IUI without any meds, if we were willing to pay for it...he said they could offer it. But when we mentioned it to Dr. T, he said to just go home and try on your own.”

I was so discouraged.

We consulted with the very compassionate Dr. S who said to try one round of injectables (injectable fertility drug). He discussed the ivm (invitro maturation), injectables, and the costs involved.

I didn’t know of anyone who had gone through this before, or at least had talked about it. Many prefer to keep their fertility private. I joined online fertility boards and forums, as a support. I happen to befriend a woman in Alabama experiencing a similar situation and we communicated very regularly, sometimes daily and became online fertility buddies. K and I still keep in touch 20 years later. I am very grateful we had each other. At that time she was the only person I could relate to.

During one of our appointments, Dr. T recommended I speak to one of his residents running a study with injectables and that I may be eligible for but this was the last month of the study.  I wrote in my journal, “I was so frustrated as NO ONE had EVER mentioned any studies before…and now we had a couple of options before ivm or ivf”.

A couple weeks passed and I was approved for the study. A nurse taught my husband to inject me, and then I got 14 days of follicle stimulating hormones (FSH).

We were well on our way.

In order to remain in the study I needed three follicles growing. Unfortunately, my ultrasound showed only two. Since I was already on the injectables we were able to continue at the clinic with insemination (IUI). It was at this point that we met the most wonderful doctor, Dr. Marinko Biljan. It was Canada Day weekend and he was the doctor on call doing my ultrasound.

I wrote this my journal,

“He was wonderful and took the time to explain his opinion on ivm/ivf & injectables. He feels I have a good chance of conceiving, that I am responding very well to the meds. He said I have two excellent follicles and he even joked that I could even have twins a boy and girl in one shot and be done with it…I’d love him as my obgyn when/if the time comes.”

My friend from Philadelphia was visiting the July 4^th weekend and she accompanied me to this insemination. This time a nurse did the IUI, but she was an really an expert. I had the second IUI the next day with the same nurse.

THEN CAME THE VERY LONG TWO WEEK WAIT. AGAIN. FOR THE 4^th TIME.

I was working part-time in the summer, so I was feeling much more relaxed, which is what I needed this round.

Over those two weeks I’d been having very vivid and weird dreams, some were very intense and scary, causing me sleepless nights. In my journal I detailed those dreams, and were they ever bizarre! I had to call the fertility pharmacist to ask a question and happen to mention my weird dreams; she said usually it means you’re pregnant. She didn’t want to get my hopes too high, but she made me a bet that I was pregnant. Although she said I would have to wait another week for a home pregnancy test.…and I should let her know. I wrote, “I told my friend that I am not sleeping well because I am having weird dreams…she said you’re pregnant.”

July 19^th was the 15^th day post-insemination; it was the day I was to do a home pregnancy test. The test displayed a +; I was actually pregnant! 

I had a few ultrasounds at the clinic after that, but it was at my 13-week ultrasound that Dr. S saw two sacs-two fetuses-two babies…I was expecting twins!

We were quite aware that in using fertility drugs there was a higher chance of conceiving twins. However, the chances increased from 5-8% with oral drugs to about 20-25% with the injectables.

I experienced some blips and a couple eventful bumps along the way, and my pregnancy riddled me with foot and back pains. Baby A (boy) was very active, constantly kicking me in the ribs. The doc put me on home rest for the last three months, as he didn’t want me to take unnecessary risks during winter.

Dr. Biljan delivered our boy-girl twins via emergency C-section on March 12, 2002-Jacob and Alexandra. I am deeply grateful to Dr. Biljan for his optimism and compassionate demeanor. He was THE DOCTOR who gave us hope.

My son was born in distress, and he spent two days in the NICU away from me and his newborn twin sister. He was diagnosed with a heart murmur in the NICU and he still has a hole in his heart but with no impact on his life now. He will continue to be followed by a cardiologist for the rest of his life. 

I continued on as Dr. Biljan's patient for a few years in his private practice, and he always wanted updates on the twins and I vividly recall the poster board in his office with all the snapshots of the babies he helped into the world. Sadly, Dr. Biljan became very ill and he passed away in 2007 of at a young age 49 of ALS. It was a huge loss.

Throughout my fertility journey there were days with good news creating excitement and days with grand disappointments. All in all, the good moments became great memories, and the challenges proved to be great life lessons. But it was well worth the journey because I have my life's treasures!

        Jacob (baby A) & Alexandra (baby B) 

           born March 12, 2002.

                                                        

 

Quarantine Survival

Tuesday, July 28, 2020.

I woke up really early this morning, just about sunrise...and I started to jot things down on my phone that I am thankful for when I wake up each day lately.

Every one should give this a try once in awhile, perhaps tomorrow. I promise you it gives you a boost in starting your day!

So here’s my list, in no particular order:

• Sleeping through the night
• Coffee in the morning.
• My Playlist on my phone 
• Listening to the local news talk radio from 7-8 am 
• A solid one hour walk 
• The good health of me, my children & family members
• Being around my kids, even if we aren’t all interacting all the time
• Keeping in touch with friends daily, some by text and some by phone calling
• A warm breeze that smells of a summer day
• The sunshine and moonlight view from my backyard deck
• Seeing a rainbow

These days we are all in survival mode. Our mindsets are altered more than several months ago. Our priorities have changed somewhat. We are all coping with a variety of stresses and challenging situations very differently. 

I seem to stress about things that never bothered me before-like my teenage kids going to hang out at a friend's house..."are you staying outside, how many will there be and who will be there, make sure to wash your hands and please social distance". 

I also don't stress over things I used to stress about, like constantly keeping the house tidy - since nobody comes inside anyhow...or organizing my drawers and closet every couple of weeks- the truth is, I am not wearing half of my wardrobe lately.

I do find it difficult to get things done these days, and difficult to see the light at the end of this pandemic tunnel. Everyone talks about adjusting to the "new normal", and personally I find that annoying -mostly because I just want my previous normal back. 

But, we cannot lose hope, and we have to stay positive as there are still many positive things that are going on. So I have been trying to see things from a grateful perspective. I feel that the more the coronavirus continues to cause havoc with our lives, the more we need to hear uplifting stories, words of encouragement & healing. I know I do. I am certain that I am not alone. 

Last weekend I spent a lot of time thinking about all of this. I realized as long as those close to me are healthy, all is good. 

We will all get through this pandemic as a community. In all likelihood, we will be stronger for it in a variety of ways. As the saying goes, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". We should continue to encourage optimism so that we can live within the required restrictions.

This will be the way to learn to move forward.

Question of the day: What are you feeling more grateful for today, than you were before?

Stay safe,

Davina

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Wow, It’s Hot Out There!

This week has been a real scorcher in Montreal and surrounding Quebec regions. Obviously this is July and it’s a hot humid mess. But today the sweltering temperatures are to reaching over 40 Celsius, when the humidity is factored in.

When I asked my Facebook friends a couple of days ago about the heat, most did not have any complaints about the extreme heat. Like me, most love this heat. I just think about how cold it will be in a few short months. I love putting on a sleeveless top and shorts every day. I actually wait for this hot summer weather all year long! Personally I have zero complaints. You just have be to find ways to cope with the heat.

Here are some of my quick tips, nothing hugely scientific, but basic common sense stuff.

When going out to carry some face wipes which help refresh yourself when hot and sweaty. Your wrist and neck are your body’s cooling points so you can also place a cold wet towel on those spots.  Try to stay in the shade, out of the direct sunlight. Walk under trees and don’t forget to use sunscreen outdoors. I have often heard not to wear dark clothing in heat as it traps the heat so it’s a good idea to light colours, lightweight and airy clothes, and not tight fitting items so that your body can breathe.

You may also use a spray bottle filled with cold water to mist your face and neck. Lately when I am outside on my deck I keep a spray bottle with me. This really helps me cool off.

It is not recommended to work out outdoors unless you are swimming laps in a pool or lake. So plan to exercise mindfully indoors, with air conditioning and proper ventilation.

Eat foods with high nutrients otherwise you may become lethargic. You have to replenish the nutrients your body needs. Try to eat food with some water content like fruit and vegetables. And, again drink plenty of water to stay hydrated.

Stay away from alcohol and caffeine since those two are known to dehydrate your body, which is the last thing you need in this weather.

If you do not have air conditioning, one old trick is placing a tray of ice in front of a fan to cool off a room. Close all the blinds to keep out the sunlight.

If you are able to get to a pool or a body of water, cooling off your body with a dip is great relief and brings down your body temperature. Yesterday I spent the day by a lake for a change and it made a huge difference.

Lastly, If you feel unwell or you are having symptoms of heat stroke such as headache, dizziness, vomiting or diarrhea, get some medical attention.

Question of the day- How do you cope with the extreme heat?

Stay Safe & Stay Cool,

Davina

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Superbowl Champion turned Front Line Healthcare Worker

The other night I caught a promo clip aired on the CTV National News, about Dr. Laurent Duverney-Tardif. The full special Front Line, would be on TSN Sportscenter the next day. For those of you who do not know, Laurent Duverney-Tardif is a National Football League (NFL) player who played on the winning 2020 Superbowl team, the Kansas City Chiefs.  

I am not a football fan. But football is ever-present in my home, since my son who is a huge NFL fan.   

However, Duvernay-Tardif peaked my interest back in February, when the KC Chiefs earned the right to play in the Superbowl. Duverney-Tardif was the first Quebecer to play in a Superbowl. Now the first Quebec-born Superbowl Champion. Plus, he is also a francophone who graduated from McGill University Medical School in Montreal in 2018 with a doctorate of medicine and masters in surgery. This young man’s accomplishments fascinated me, as he completed his medical studies while also playing in the very demanding NFL.

Today I watched the 14-minute TSN special which I recorded. It was really well done. It portrays a Superbowl champion with a medical degree, who just could not sit back once the coronavirus pandemic hit hard in Quebec, the place he calls home.

In April, when the Quebec health ministry called out for the assistance in long term care facilities, especially from healthcare students, Duvernay-Tardif, who is not currently enrolled in a residency program wanted to help. So he rolled up his sleeves and has been working two to three shifts per week in a long-term care facility, as an orderly or personal support worker, performing nursing aide duties. He, along with Olympic medalist Joannie Rochette and hundreds of others, signed up to work in the understaffed facilities.

In the TSN special Duvernay-Tardif, age 29, shares his thoughts and personal feelings about his front line role in the long-term care facility, and how it has affected him in the last several weeks. He discusses his life post-Superbowl win, coming back to Montreal, decompressing on a Caribbean vacation and changing his return date due to the coronavirus pandemic. Then came the shift of his focus to the desire to help during the pandemic, in whatever way possible with his medical training. 

There were some implications with Duvernay-Tardif’s NFL contract, as well as in his personal life and with all the considerations, he has gone into this endeavor with fervor and enthusiasm. He is taking great risks with is high level of exposure to Covid-19, which could impact his career as a professional football player. You can see in the special how drained he is, and the toll it is taking. The elderly residents he interacts with on his shifts have certainly made an impact on him and he has impacted them as well.

All this to say this young man is quite remarkable. He is very well-spoken in his second language, English. He has a  very humble demeanor, and a deep level of commitment.

After some quick research on Dr. Duvernay-Tardif, I discovered he founded and runs the LDT Foundation, an organization that encourages physical activity and creativity in child development and education. In the world of professional sports, we often know of athletes who engage in various philanthropic endeavours, such as this one. Perhaps this particular story of an athlete, stepping up to work as an orderly in this health crisis, caught my attention because Duvernay-Tardif, an athletic champion is a person with a medical degree and he is putting his time, energy and efforts to use in a very hands-on manner.

Laurent Duvernay-Tardif is an excellent role model. 

He is making a meaningful contribution and is most definitely is making a difference!

Below is the link to the TSN Special, Front Line:

https://www.tsn.ca/video/tsn-original-front-line~1983251

Stay safe,

Davina

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Let’s Hear It For the Class of 2020!

It’s that time of year 🎓

But the Class of 2020 is exceptional. Forever changed. For thousands of graduates- kindergarten, elementary, high school, college and university- their graduation is something to go down in the history books. Their children and grandchildren will be learning in history class about how the pandemic affected them as graduates. 

Even if your own child is not graduating, you likely know of someone who is. In the past few weeks, we have heard and seen of graduations being celebrated in very interesting and creative ways. Traditional ceremonies have been swapped for a different and unique type of acknowledgment.

I recently saw a story on an American news network of a school in the US that took out a huge digital billboard in the downtown center for a week to give glory and accolades to each of their graduates. Each day highlighted individual graduates with their grad photo, their achievements, and the college or university they will attend in the fall.

I saw a story on Montreal’s CTV News last week that actually sparked this blog post. The story was about a Montreal-area high school student, Brian, who was surprised by his teachers when they showed up at his house, all two meters apart, with numerous signs and posters in his front yard, to ask him if he would like to be the Class of 2020 valedictorian.  He was really overwhelmed; it was a beautiful and uplifting moment. A very touching gesture.

Our local schools have also been extremely innovative in marking this grand life event, and making graduations unique. We have seen graduates in their caps and gowns at sidewalk graduations, drive-by graduations, graduation parades, backyard graduations, drive-in movie grads,  grad photo shoots from a distance, virtual graduations and even personal home visits from school administrators equipped with lawn signs and diplomas. We must applaud all their outstanding efforts!

For high school graduates, however, there is no prom night this spring. Prom has always been a much-anticipated end of year rite of passage. Most proms in 2020 have either been cancelled or postponed.

My twin children graduated high school last year, so I know very well about the hype of prom from both the female and male perspectives-from prom dress shopping, to promosals, ordering corsages and the like. 

As soon as prom ends, the grade 11’s, who experience so many trials and tribulations in their five years together, disband. Summer begins, and even though the inner friendship circles keep in close contact, the spirit of the grade as a whole entity, quickly dissipates. So for the Class of 2020, not only did they lose out on the last part of the year, making memories together, but that special prom night is gone, even if there is some semblance of a graduation.

Although some restrictions have now been lifted to allow for informal small gatherings, prom is not an event that can take place right now. There will not be cozy prom night photos or group limo rides with champagne popped en route to the prom dance.

So please, let us not discount this aspect of the graduation rituals. We have to be sensitive to the fact that these high school graduates must be celebrated in some very special way, and in as many ways as they need to feel valued. Imagine that their whole school career these grads looked forward to the last days of high school with their friends, some of whom they have been with since pre-school. We must acknowledge that grads have had it tough, as they really did not have these last memories.

Despite some of the disappointments for the Class of 2020, there have also been unexpected joyful moments. We should honour and give praise to these graduates. So as tired as you may feel of seeing on the news stories of unique graduations, let us continue to celebrate the Class of 2020 in a big way.  

Photo: 06/15/2020 Taken on my walk,

In front of Ecole de la Mosaique,Cote St. Luc, QC

I certainly hope if you know someone graduating that you make a point of recognizing them in some way, even if it is a simple “congrats” or a poster or card, as they deserve to go into their next academic journey with pride and joy.

Question of the day- How are you celebrating your graduate, to make them feel extra special?

Stay Safe,

Davina

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Escape Into the Land of Binge Watching

Many of those around us are continuously binge-watching TV shows, and often recommend various series' that are worth the binge. I only discovered the true art of binge-watching a TV series in the last while. Watching many episodes quickly does pass time, as well as provide an escape and it is actually pretty satisfying.

For over 40 years I have been a day time soap-opera junkie. I have followed Another World, the Bold & the Beautiful, General Hospital and Young and the Restless, and the soaps never go on hiatus. In my teens, I was home sick for a couple of weeks, so I got hooked. Decades later, shamefully, I am still a fan!

Back in the day, I taped my soaps daily on VHS and watched them later that day. Lately, I PVR two of them and binge-watch my soaps on weekends. This is the first time in decades the soaps are repeating classic episodes daily.

Hence my venture into binge-watching TV shows on Netflix and Prime. I always felt that the binge-watching that my teens engaged in regularly may be unhealthy, mainly because it involves too much screen time and some of the shows they watch may be violent, disturbing or even ridiculous. 

Binge-watching has been a savior for those who got sick in these past months at home, and a comfort for those of us in need of a distraction from the grim news. It has actually become a lifeline for many, and has connected family and friends, in terms  of show discussions. Many people soothe themselves to sleep by the ritual of watching two or three episodes every night. Truthfully, people are finding solace in binge-watching these days; it is a way to nourish their soul. Some people are early risers and binge-watch before sunrise.

Back in March, I got into Love is Blind, a ridiculous social experiment reality show. The premise was actually absurd, in my opinion. My daughter was also watching this show.  So during the monotony of staying home, this show became a subject of conversation with my daughter, especially about the real-life characters. It seemed to connect us.

Recently, I have embraced binge-watching and even enjoyed some decent shows- sitcoms like Fuller House and Life In Pieces, dramedies like Virgin River, Younger, Sweet Magnolias, Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce, Modern Love; dramas like Suits, Northern Rescue and Unorthodox; thrillers like You and even fantasy like Lucifer to name a few. But no, I have not seen Tiger King and don't intend to.

Relax with a comedy or a riveting drama or be impulsive with something different like fantasy. Perhaps re-watch an old favourite like the Office or the Gilmore Girls, which I recently did.

You may also look to make binge-watching as a socially distant activity. Perhaps watch with your friend, partner, sibling, or child. Did you know that Netflix offers Netflix party which allows you to stream the same show online and chat at the same time? Or you can always go the way of the 1980's and stay on the phone while you both watch. This type of binge-watching can become a date night, enhancing connections with your boyfriend or girlfriend, at a time you may not be able to watch together. 

Binge-watching can be absorbing. You can easily lose track of time and put off your bedtime and therefore make you lose sleep. How many of us have clicked "next episode" a few times and the next thing you know it's 2 am...
Early risers may choose to watch a few episodes while the house is quiet.

It's acceptable to sample different types of shows. Decide what relaxes, soothes or excites you. If an action thriller helps you escape all your worries, go for it! Just think about how your choices may feed your escapism. Personally, I enjoy watching short shows that are 22-23 minutes, for the sole reason I will watch a couple of episodes in one sitting, and not have to pause several times. 

What's my latest obsession? 

It is an Israeli romantic comedy, The Baker and the Beauty on Prime. This show is completely binge-worthy. It actually does a nice job of portraying Israeli life, Sephardic, Ashkenazie, Yemenite, Moroccan and Egyptian- without the religious angle. I really like the way it depicts Israeli identity-the people, their passion and their deep love of their country. Just be forewarned, it is in Hebrew and you will likely need to enable the subtitles. An adaptation of the Israeli show just ended its 1st season on ABC and it is set in Little Havana, Miami. So right now, I am watching both shows simultaneously, which is pretty amusing, and I am enjoying both series', seeing their parallels and differences!

So don't feel guilty- because binge-watching may be the most relaxing couple of hours you have each day, amidst the chaos in the world and struggles in our personal lives. It may be something to look forward to, since going out to dinner and movie may not be possible just yet. 

Question of the day: What TV show did you recently binge?

Stay Safe,
Davina

Please "Like" my new Facebook page Just Ask Davina

Summer Staycation

In recent times, I have not taken a summer vacation and always done a staycation. This was mostly because my kids were at sleepaway camp and I enjoyed Montreal in the summer, therefore there really was no need. 

However, for many, this summer will be quite different. Currently, you cannot pack up and head off to Europe, cruise the Mediterranean or fly out west to the California coast.  Summer 2020 will be spent at home, mainly with our families. Our kids, many of whom usually go to overnight camp, are saddened and feeling the loss of spending time with friends- away from their family-and many students have lost their summer jobs. Very few people will be travelling, except perhaps to their country cottages or camping grounds. We will be spending more time staycationing in our backyards. 

But rest assured home-li-days do not have to be homely. 

These days, everyone is thinking about how they can make their outdoor space more summer-friendly and transform their backyard into a relaxing vacation-type atmosphere.  

2020 just may be the summer you reorganize and transform your balcony or deck. Maybe it’s time for a refresh. I had decided that since we would be spending more time in our backyard, I would get my deck refreshed with a powerwash and weather treatment. I also bought a new patio umbrella, new cushions for my chairs, a couple of reclining chairs, plus an additional fold-up patio table. This way, when I have another family over we can sit outside together, but apart. Don’t forget to stock up on some wine and shatterproof wine glasses-perfect for those small outside gatherings. During these challenging times we must improvise and get creative. There are some things we can do to make our staycation enjoyable that are definitely not as pricey as a family travel vacation. 

Due to current health and safety restrictions, many people will not venture to public pools and beaches. Montreal’s CJAD radio reported last week that demand for home pool installations has tripled this season. For relief from the heat, a family-size inflatable pool or kids slip and slide area is also a good option. I do hear that inflatables are already hard to come by right now. But, a sprinkler attached to your hose will also do the trick while working on your quaranTan. 

You may want to consider getting some outdoor lighting for your deck or colourful lights around the pool that you’ve been dreaming of for years. A DIY fire pit may not be that simple, but is a great addition for toasting marshmallows and make s’mores with the kids at night. Arranging a weekly “movie under the stars” can also provide family night entertainment. All you need is a projector-which is not a big investment-and a makeshift screen, like a sheet draped over the clothesline. With a bit of tech savvy you’ll be all set. Just add popcorn, candy and a classic movie like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Grease. 

Smaller children may enjoy camping in the backyard. Or your tweens might prefer the glamping experience, that is, glamorous camping. This may be an adventure your kids won’t soon forget. Just borrow a tent and pack all the essentials you would take on an actual camping trip.  

It could also be interesting to set up a backyard giant board game for both adults and kids. If you are not that creative, get badminton or tetherball set up and keep everyone busy.

My teenage son has taken up Pickleball. For a kid who is usually playing spring baseball and flag football this has been his physical outlet. The set was purchased online and he plays with his father, his uncle or cousin.  For those unfamiliar with Pickleball, it is a paddleball sport that looks like tennis, sounds like ping-pong and has the action of badminton. Here, it’s set up on the road outside the house and they use chalk to outline the court bounds. Thankfully, it’s a quiet street with very little traffic. 

Street Pickleball action

For a change of scenery, you may also picnic at the local park under a tree.  Grab some colourful beach towels, even if you’re just hanging out. It will make you feel like you’re on vacation. 

Music is an important element of spending time outside, so make a summer music playlist that will help set you into vacation mode. You may also want to get some portable speakers. Try some homemade crafty cocktail recipes and perhaps create a new drink weekly. What about a Raspberry and Lemon Rosé Sparkler or a Strawberry Tequila Soda? 

This weekend's homemade cocktail!

Whichever way you choose to enjoy the outdoors and keep your family busy this summer, make it special by adding something new to your outdoor space.  It may be as simple as planting a small garden with colourful flowers and vegetables on your balcony. 

My goal of this blog post was for everybody to take away one idea that would inspire an unforgettable staycation. And remember that you don’t have to travel to make it a vacation. 

Question of the day-What is your favourite summer-inspired food or drink? 

Stay safe,

Davina 

Please "Like" my new Facebook page Just Ask Davina